Deliberate Draw: Sibyl of Cups

First Impressions:  Peace, calm, awareness

Book:  Draws from the deepest love, love to give, offering love unconditionally, offers sound guidance without judgement, learned to blend imagination with action

Guidance:  Enter your own landscape and enter the deep and paradoxical landscape of feeling

Journaling

My loving kindness meditations have helped me to feel deeply and to let go of the anger.  They've also helped me to learn to love unconditionally and without expecting anything in return.  I feel at such peace when I am in that place of unconditional love.  However, I'm struggling to live int he real world and to live in that place of unconditional love.  It seems that the world just pulls me into a world that I don't want to live in.  I don't want to live in a place where I have to leave the ones I love to make a living.  I also don't want to live in a life where it is about money and not about living my best self.

I don't know how to get to that place where I can live from my heart and not my head.  I generally make decisions based on financial reasons and then I end up feeling trapped.  What my heart wants is not financially lucrative, but I don't know how to get from here to there.  I want to make a difference in individual's lives, but i want to be well compensated for it and unfortunately jobs working with people often do not make a lot of money.

I think I just have to continue putting it out there that I want to live form my heart, but I need to make sure my needs are met.

Shadow Work--Day 28

The departing message from my shadow is...

Dreamer Princess gives me the gift of telling and of sharing what I know with others.  She also is telling me that I do not need to be attached to whether or not they receive my message.  All I need to do is speak from the heart.  There is also a warning that I need to be straightforward with people and not use my gifts to manipulate.

Maker Four tells me to hold on to what is mine, but is also a precaution against being greedy.  I need to build my own stability, but also find a way to let others in and contribute to the greater world. 

Dancer Queen tells me to find and dance my own truth.  I need to let go of all the bullshit in my life, including the lies I was told as a child about my own worth.    I am brilliant, beautiful, and amazing and I am worthy of having friends and a lover.  Unlike the messages that I continually got told as a child, my life is about more than other people.  My life is my own and I get to choose who shares it and what I do for other people.