Tuesday, May 31, 2022

King of Wands

May 31, 2022

Tarot of Little Secrets

First Impressions:  Regal, calm, controlled, going forward

Book: Inner strength, self motivation, 

Guidance: Integrity can fracture in explosive ways


This card reminds me of Pruitt on Station 19.  He is wise and kind and takes care of the people who love him.  And I guess he reminds me of my dad as well.  I love my dad and I miss him.  Even though he was annoying and misgonistyc, I never doubted that he loved me.  I wish I had someone in my life now who loved me and would take care of me.  Even though I know I am a badass, it would be nice to have someone take care of me once in a while.  Someone to protect me and look out for me.  I don't think I've had that since my daddy died.  John certainly never took care of me and I am realizing that he didn't love me.

This card is all about inner strength and that's what I need to channel now.

Where:  I'm at home this week.  And right now am just hanging out with the doggos.

Weather:  It was beautiful out today.  The sun was shining and I spent time hanging out in the hammock and it was wonderful.

Moon Phase:  Waxing Crescent, 1%

Sunrise / Sunset: 5:54/8:54


March 10, 2022

Deck:  Light Seer's Tarot

First Impressions:  Getting down to business, lighting the way, strong and courageous, not standing on ceremony

Book:  Natural born leader, creative visionary, fearlessness, successful ideation

Guidance:   Boldly express your offbeat weirdo


I love this card as it is a card of looking toward the future and of lighting the way.  One of the things that I need to work on is really charting my course and figuring out where I want to go.  I love the salary that my job provides, but I'm not thrilled with the work.  I would much rather be living my own best life and doing what is important to me.

the problem is that I'm not sure how to get there.  I think I need to do some serious magick and figure it out.

Where I'm At: I'm sitting on the couch with Clarko snoring next to me and Wendy in her cuddle cup.

Weather: It's a little cold out, but not snowing yet

Moon Phase:  First Quarter 50%

Sunrise / Sunset: 6:46 am / 6:27 pm


February 6, 2019

Tarot of the Divine

First Impressions:  Beauty, passion, preening

Book:  Honesty, charm, passion, leadership, phoenix

Guidance:  Be the phoenix


I actually felt like a phoenix today as I worked on my sigils (see below).  It felt so good to do something artistic and creative.  I realize that I've really missed that and that while I have been nurturing the intellectual side of myself, I have not been nurturing the creative side and that's a problem.  I've neglected my creative side and that has left me stuck.  I hadn't realize how much I used my creativity to heal and learn about myself.  A big part of that was my tarot journaling as it allowed me to get in touch with myself and learn about who I am.  I know that since I have started journaling about tarot again in December, I've felt better.  And even on the days when I am pissed off and angry, I've at least felt like I had an outlet.

Where I'm At:  I'm home today, enjoying time with the dogs.  I unfortunately was up most of the night as I just couldn't sleep, but for the most part it has been a good day as I spent the morning working on sigils and I got two new tarot decks.

Mood:  I'm tired, but in a good mood

Weather:  At 2:27 AM it is 14 degrees and mostly clear, but it is supposed to get up to 35 today so maybe some of the snow will melt.  we aren't supposed to get any snow today!

Moon Phase:  Waxing Crescent, 21 percent

Sunrise/Sunset:  7:32 am / 5:48 PM

June 27, 2019

Deck;  World Spirit tarot

First Impressions:  Wisdom, lit from the sun, forward motion

Book:  Creative visions, loving a challenge and opportunity to strategize, only comfortable when he's in charge, intolerant of weakness in himself and others,

Guidance:  Call upon the leader in yourself


This is an incredibly interesting card as it speaks to me on so many levels.  I do love to be creative and figure out how to take an idea from a spark to fruition.  That's incredibly fun for me as I love the creativity involved in figuring out the angles, overcoming obstacles, etc.  I think that's the real reason I want to stay at my current job as there is something immensely satisfying in doing something that no one thought could be done and doing it well.  It feed my ego so much to have people tell me that I'm actually making it work.  I also get personal satisfaction out of it as well, especially since I am really starting to see results.  It's interesting because when I met with Cindy she said she was a builder and that applies to me as well.  I love the leadership aspects of building something amazing, but I'm not so good at managing things and having to deal with employees.

It is the other piece of this where I fall down and that's only being comfortable when I'm in charge.  This doesn't exhibit itself as not taking orders from my boss, but it does come into play when I end up having subordinates as I want to micromanage them and I am convinced that they will screw it up and I will have to fix it.  However, when I take a step back and am kind to myself and look at things realistically instead of focusing on my flaws, I realize that in a lot of ways my behavior is completely understandable because the people I have had as subordinates have not really been up to the task.  I had people trying to do quick reference guides who had no idea how to do the transactions.  I also had people who didn't care.  I hadn't actually hired any of these people so it makes sense that it didn't work.  I can do a good job of mentoring and giving good direction when I have the right people working for me.

I have also learned that just because I think something critical doesn't mean that I'm a bad person or that I'm mean.  It is okay to have those thoughts as long as you stifle them and what comes out of my mouth is helpful.  I'm learning to do that with people at work as there are times I just want to say "What an idiot!"  However, I've learned to stop, redirect, and come up with something helpful.  There is too much meanness in the world, there is no reason that I need to contribute to it.

December 20, 2016

Deck:  Gilded Tarot

Card:  Pulled Reversed

First Impressions:  Loss of Passion

Book:  Be careful, be aware of recklessness, inability to move forward, need to move forward, hesitating, uncertainty

Guidance:  Be more assertive, be more confident


This card fits where i am today as I have been dragging my heels about this course that I'm creating.  I think the root cause is that I am afraid to go into the darkness again.  I'm afraid of opening doors that I thought I'd closed.  However, there is a reason this is coming up now so I will honor the process and go back into my darkness.

July 8, 2018

Interesting when I read this and think about the actual meanings of the words.  I haven't worked on my course in a while and I think it is because I've learned the lessons and it really is time for me to move forward.  I don't need to go back into the darkness and I don't owe it to anyone to guide them or help them.  I guide my kids and I provide for them and I don't need to give my all to anyone. 

I've also found that my daily and weekly tarot practices are helping me to dig into the darkness without becoming overwhelmed.  I find so much healing in tarot and the discipline of pulling a card everyday really helps to to get all the junk out in a deliberate way.

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