Saturday, July 27, 2019

Draw from a Friend: Should I Stay or Should I go

Background:  Work has been tortuous lately and I have been feeling unappreciated and undervalued and I'm wondering if the time has come to move on out and seek a place that more values my efforts.  My flight response is really strong and if it was left to me and I had no one to support, I would have already said F* you, I'm walking out.  However, I do have other people to support and all the cards I've been pulling lately have been about patience and trust so my actions to move on are being restrained.  I reached out to a friend to ask him to pull a few cards for me and he ended up with the draw below.

Instinctively, we both believe that my best course of action is to stay and that that is what our guides and the cards are telling me, but I decided to go ahead and break things down and look at each card individually to get a deeper meaning.

Six of Fire (Wands)--At its essence, this is the victory card and it is about taking the steps you've been longing to take for a while.  If I was reading this on the surface, I could read it as either taking the right steps to move on and make a break.  However, the LWB also says, "Your growing ability to be patient and let things happen of your own accord is the sweetest fruit of your worldly success."  That sentence tells me that I will be rewarded and enjoy victory by continuing to be patient.

Ace of Water (Cups)--The ace of water is about fertility, about opening up and sharing your feelings.  It is a card of fulfillment and openness.  When I read this in connection with all the other messages I've been getting this week, this tells me that I need to be respectfully honest about my feelings and speak up.  It goes along with the guidance that Ted gave me this week about saying, "I feel..." As he said, no one can argue with that.  The key is not getting into You messages and sticking with I messages.  I messages are really hard when I'm wound up.

Nine of Air (Swords)--This card is pretty hard, but realistic.  It is all about hurt, vengefulness, suffering, and the inability to forgive myself or others.  It is telling me that it is time to let the old wounds heal and move on.  This in combination with all the other cards this week that told me it was time to let go of the past and to open my heart and trust is telling me that it is me holding this up.  I stated my case, now I have to trust that it is all going to work out okay.  I need to trust that the people I work with believe in me and value the work I do.  Right now that is hard because I am all caught up in feeling trapped and untrusting, but I need to open up my heart and trust.  Not an easy thing to do, but something I need to do in order to move on.

Knight of Air (Swords)--Ugg!  Another card that is pounding the point home that I need to let go of old messages and old thoughts.  Specifically, "With unflinching clarity you have to recognize struggling with your own inner world, your own phantoms, projections, and identifications will get you nowhere.  I have to let go of the ruminations and trust that it will all work out.  I need to add D and J to my list of loving kindness meditations and trust that it is all going to be okay.

Transformation (Death)--And I am being pounded over the head again!  This card is about transformation and letting go of old patterns.  This card says to not waste energy trying to stop the inevitable and that "you are simply ready to let go of unnecessary baggage."  It's time for me to put down my shields and trust people who have shown themselves to be trustworthy.

Four of Air (Swords)--This card says that "Doing nothing is most helpful at this point."  In other words, it is time for me to just focus on the work that is in front of me and let everything play out around me.  I need to focus on my workie work, I need to focus on writing, I need to focus on school.  I need to let go of all the drama swirling around me.  I just need to let it all go.  Focusing on the drama and feeding the drama is preventing me from moving on.

Four of Water (Cups)--This card is about feeling the abundance that you have and about being grateful for that abundance.  This card also reminds you that satisfaction can be fleeting and that there is also a period of emptiness, but that emptiness leads to fullness.  Sometimes you have to let go of something to make room for something else.

With another deck and with other circumstances, I might have been able to read this as it was time for me to leave and move on to something else.  However, when I read this in the context of the other readings and with the messages both Scott and I got from our guides, the message is clear that it is in my best interests to stay.

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