Monday, October 3, 2022

Three of Wands

October 3, 2022

Deck:  The Gentle Tarot

First Impressions:  I love this card and how she is looking toward the horizon.  I also like that she is standing on a bay or an inlet and not directly on the water.

Book:  I create space as expansive as the horizon, so that my decisions are met with the grace they deserve.

Guidance:   Take a step back and look at the wider picture.


I love this card and the call to listen to my heart.  I spend so much time listening to my head and being practical, that I don't listen to my heart and what it wants.  My heart wants to pursue a PhD.  I love research and going deep within a topic to find answers.  I love taking obscure pieces of information and putting them together.  That is where my heart is at.  I also love mentoring people and helping them learn how to do new things.  At its heart, that is where I want to be.  I want to be guiding and nurturing people and helping them find their true north.

My next step is to reach out to Dr. Perkins and see what is possible at WMU.  Once I have that answer, the next steps will unveil themselves.

Where I'm At:  I'm at home today and I deliberately did not go anywhere.  I am really working on not going someplace every day.  It is just too easy to run to the store to get something and I don't need to do that.  We have plenty of food to eat here.  I don't need to keep running out to get something.

Weather:  It was a beautiful day out.  It was slightly chilly, but sunny.  Funny thing is that I wanted to sit outside after work, but it was too cold for Wendy.

Moon Phase:  Waxing Gibbous 67%

Sunrise / Sunset: 7:23/ 7:06


July 22, 2022

 Intuitive Night Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  Fireworks, magick, mountains, happiness

Book:  Success, Recognition, Innovation, Contribution, Trailblazer

Guidance:   Now may be a time of big ideas for you, signaling a vision unseen by others


I really love that this may be a time of big ideas for me.  I'm working on my research for my dissertation and it really seems to be flowing.  I am just hopeful that in the next month or so that I will hear from WMU that they are reopening the interdisciplinary PhD program.

Where I'm At:  I was at the Cleveland plant today then I had my interview with PPL Corporation.  Seems like an interesting job, but I'm not sure if I will take it if it is offered.  I'm going to have to see what happens.

Weather:  It was hot today, but it has cooled down a little (7:00 pm) and it was nice enough to sit outside with the dogs.

Moon Phase:  Waning Crescent 32%

Sunrise / Sunset: 6:10 / 8:55


 June 29, 2022

Deck:  Intuitive Night Goddess

First Impressions:  Firecrackers, dancing, energized

Book:  Success, Recognition, Innovation, Contribution, Trailblazer

Guidance:   Believe in what you feel called to and others will believe as well


This is an interesting card about seeing where I'm going and people following me.  I had a good conversation with J. at work today and one of our leaders asked what we were going to do about Roe V. Wade being overturned and the emotional impact.  We also talked about terror and trauma.  I felt listened to and heard and that was a good feeling.  I also don't know where I'm going from here.  I still feel raw and my emotions are still all over the place, but I do feel as if I was heard.

Where I'm At:  I'm home today and it was a very productive day.  I got a lot done and now I'm hanging out with the monsters.

Weather: It is beautiful outside.  It is a little chilly and even the Great American Grem did not want to sit outside, but that's okay. 

Moon Phase:  New Moon

Sunrise / Sunset: 5:53 / 9:05


March 2, 2022

Light Seer's Tarot

First Impressions:  Happiness, Joy, contemplating adventure, looking toward the future, age doesn't matter

Book:  Energy manifesting, waiting to see the results of your efforts, opportunities, moving in the right direction

Guidance:   You are headed in the right direction


The gray hair tells me that this woman is mature and that she knows when to bide her time and when to jump in.  She isn't just standing there because she is afraid or she doesn't know what she is doing, she is standing there because she knows the time is not quite right.

I really like this card because sometimes I think that being patient is a waste of time, but this card is telling me that I am right to wait and not rush into anything.  I don't do well at waiting things out and biding my time as I want to leap to something new as soon as I am uncomfortable, but this card is telling me to wait.  It's also telling me that good things are on my horizon.

Where I'm At: Tonight was a bad night as Clark and Wendy got into it again and I ended up having to take her to the emergency vet.  They gave her antibiotics and pain meds.  Sean got pissy about going with me, but I needed him to lift the baby.

Weather: It's cold and crisp

Moon Phase:  New Moon 0%

Sunrise / Sunset: 6:59 am / 6:18 pm


January 25, 2022

Tarot of the Divine

First Impressions:  Determination, going for it, climbing out of a bad situation, making it work no matter what the odds

Book:  Hard work and travel,  self-motivation, freedom, reward

Guidance:  Stay motivated and your efforts will be rewarded


This card for me represents digging out of a pit you're dug for yourself.  And that is apt because i always end up struggling for redemption.  I do something that other people disagree with and I find myself having to redeem myself.  That is where I feel like I'm at now even though I've really done nothing wrong. M and T don't like what I do so they feel declined to trash me and be crabby in pulling me back down in mediocracy.  However, because our company likes nice and to keep the peach, instead of punishing the crabs, he person trying to be excellent is punished.

When i reflect on what this means to me, the lesson is to continue climbing and to not let the crabs get me down.  They are going to be who they are, but that does not mean I have to reduce myself to their level.

October 17, 2019

Deck:  Tarot de St. Croix

First Impressions:   Waiting, Patience

Book:  Watching her progeny's ship come in

Guidance:  Visionary Leadership will see a project flourish


Reading Lisa's description of this card and how it reminded her of her mother's love is really difficult for me as I am coming to realize that I never truly had my mother's love.  She loved the idea of me, but she didn't really love me.  I was difficult, outspoken, and prickly and that wasn't someone she wanted to deal with.  I'm writing a paper about addiction and shame and I'm realizing that I was shamed from the moment I was born.  I was always too loud, not demure enough, too smart, too bookish, or too something else.  My grandmother flat out told me that I was stuck up and my mother treated me as I wasn't who she wanted as a daughter.  She wanted someone who would have been content to be a MRS and that was not me.  I always wanted more out of life.  I wanted to use my brain and I wanted to change the world.  I had not desire to be the demure little wife.  I'm also starting to realize how complicit my father was in this as he taught me that elders deserved respect no matter what and that women were to be subservient to men.  Hell, he left churches when they got women minsters because the bible said that women should not lead men. 

I'm realizing that I've spent my life swimming in shame after constantly being told that I wasn't good enough, that I was was bad to my very core.  However, this card is only about Charlene if I choose to let it be about Charlene.  I can choose to let her pilot my life or I can choose to pilot my own life and I'm going to choose to pilot my own life.  I get to decide where  I'm going and I'm going to figure out a way to have the life that I want to have.  I'm not exactly sure yet what that looks like, but I will figure it out.


I'm grateful for sleeping late
I'm grateful for Sean getting home early
I'm grateful for the yummy pork chops
I'm grateful for time to work on my paper
I'm grateful for snuggling with Wendy

December 23, 2017

Three of Fire
Dark Goddess Tarot
Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  The first impression I get in looking at this card is that the three little beasts are waiting for Circe to fall off the hill.  I believe that she is stirring up some kind of medical or magical potion and she needs to wait until it is perfect.

Book:  Ideas have a life of their own, Goddess credited with the invention of Magick, Transformation, Lack of jealousy

Guidance:  Your creative ability is high, permanence is an illusion as everything changes, mix up things in your life, changing your appearance or your home is not a superficial act.


I needed this reminder that nothing is permanent.  I get so caught up in wanting some things to remain the same that I forget how boring that can make life.  Life truly is a journey and there is always something new to discover.  What I am struggling with is reconciling the fact that nothing is permanent with my need for stability.  How can I create a stable life when there truly is impermanence?

I think it comes down to building a financial foundation and a home and then going with the flow.  It's interesting as I groaned when I pulled this card and I wanted to put it back and I did.  I then pulled the witch of fire, but my conscious wouldn't let me cheat so I decided to keep the card that I originally pulled, although I did look at the reading for the Witch of Fire (Cerridwin).  Cerridwin has a meaning that is complimentary to this one:  Use an established framework or structure to keep your energy focused.  What an amazing confirmation.

December 30, 2017

Wow!  It always amazes me how the cards provide the lessons that I need and the confirmation, when necessary.  I think the answer is to create a stable structure and create the magic within the structure.  For me right now that means working on paying off my credit cards and my bills so that I have more flexibility financially.  It also means going back to shopping at Aldi for whatever I can get there so I can cut my grocery budget.  Not a big deal as I always went to Aldi when we lived in Chicago, I just got out of the habit.

August 26, 2017

Three of Fire
Dark Goddess Tarot
Deck:  Dark Goddess Tarot

Card:  Three of Fire

First Impressions:  This card always seems to me as if the three little creatures are waiting for her to come down from the rock.  Circe seems to be stirring up some magic in her pot.  Overall, this card gives off a vibe of waiting.

Book:  Ideas have a life of their own, Knowing lore of all places, Friend of the witches, creative ability is high.

Guidance:  Make the most of your creativity, express it, embrace change, mix up things in your life, change up your house


Interesting that I pulled this card as I am embracing change and changing my personal space.  I'm also cleaning out and getting rid of things that no longer serve me.  This is a time of transformation and I feel the energy of change flowing. 

Despite all the nastiness in the government, I feel good changes are afoot and it is time to embrace my creative side.

December 18, 2017

I love the thought that ideas have a life of their own and that we can manifest ourselves.

December 27, 2017

One of the things I've realized with this round of cleansing and getting rid of is that I don't have to purge everything at once.  I can take my time and genuinely evaluate what serves me before I just get rid of it all.  I've decided I'm going to take the next year to work through the books on my bookshelf in the wood room and I'm going to either keep them permanently, keep them as I haven't read them yet, or get rid of them.  I don't have to make a decision today.  In the past, I always thought that if I made a decision, I had to implement it right away, but I've realized that's not true.  I can take time to evaluate and gently get rid of things instead of rushing to get rid of them.  Doing things this way brings me peace instead of frustration
May 1, 2016

Deck:  Gaian Tarot

Card:  Three of Fire

First Impressions:  
I love this card as she dances with the fire orbs.  One of the things I love most about her is that she is not a size 2.  She looks like a real woman who is happy, excited, and her own person.  I feel passion, happiness, and self-control in this card.  The three words I get are being, doing, dancing.  I love this card as it is so full of expression and passion.  This card is about passion, controlling the flames, happiness, self control, and dancing.    When I look at this card, I think about being joyous, it is about being comfortable in my own skin.  I am a woman who knows what she wants.

Book:  Blazing with personal power and passion.  On fire with the joy of creativity, sexuality, and self empowerment.  Life is flowing and nothing can hold you back.  Be proud of all you are and all that you have accomplished.

Guidance:  Be on fire with creativity, sexuality, and self empowerment.  Don't let anything hold you back.  Be proud of who you are and what you can and have accomplished.  Be open to wherever life takes you.


Dancing, being joyous, comfortable in my own skin.  I am a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it.  What a wonderful card to draw for Beltane, the first fire festival.  I did feel comfortable in my own skin today.  I was happy being at home and I felt as if life was truly flowing.  I choose to express myself joyously and wonderfully.

January 2, 2018

I love this card!  It is one of my all time favorite tarot cards as she has such beauty and exuberance.  This card makes me think about picking myself up and doing what needs to be done as I face life head on.

February 4, 2018

I've decided that this card is my talisman for the year.  I love how she is big and bold and not afraid to be who she is.  I sometimes feel so mousy and as if I am invisible to everyone.  Sometimes it feels as if I tried so hard to be pretty and noticed, but no one noticed me so I've gone back to being in the background and in the shadows.

However, the truth of the matter is that no matter how I dress, I do like to be invisible.  Being visible means i have to interact with people and I have to have conversations.  Those things are really uncomfortable for me.  I'm already trying to figure out how to get out of going to the Tarot Conference and at the end of the day it is fear that has me making up excuses.  There is no real reason that I have for not going.  I'm just afraid of interacting with people.  I'm afraid that people won't like me.  I'm afraid that people will make fun of me. 

Raine--You will be taken care of and you will be loved.  Just trust.  It is all going to be wonderful.

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