October 3, 2022
First Impressions: I love this card and how she is looking toward the horizon. I also like that she is standing on a bay or an inlet and not directly on the water.
Book: I create space as expansive as the horizon, so that my decisions are met with the grace they deserve.
Guidance: Take a step back and look at the wider picture.
Journaling:
I love this card and the call to listen to my heart. I spend so much time listening to my head and being practical, that I don't listen to my heart and what it wants. My heart wants to pursue a PhD. I love research and going deep within a topic to find answers. I love taking obscure pieces of information and putting them together. That is where my heart is at. I also love mentoring people and helping them learn how to do new things. At its heart, that is where I want to be. I want to be guiding and nurturing people and helping them find their true north.
My next step is to reach out to Dr. Perkins and see what is possible at WMU. Once I have that answer, the next steps will unveil themselves.
Where I'm At: I'm at home today and I deliberately did not go anywhere. I am really working on not going someplace every day. It is just too easy to run to the store to get something and I don't need to do that. We have plenty of food to eat here. I don't need to keep running out to get something.
Weather: It was a beautiful day out. It was slightly chilly, but sunny. Funny thing is that I wanted to sit outside after work, but it was too cold for Wendy.
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous 67%
Sunrise / Sunset: 7:23/ 7:06
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July 22, 2022
Deck: Intuitive Night Goddess Tarot
First Impressions: Fireworks, magick, mountains, happiness
Book: Success, Recognition, Innovation, Contribution, Trailblazer
Guidance: Now may be a time of big ideas for you, signaling a vision unseen by others
Journaling:
I really love that this may be a time of big ideas for me. I'm working on my research for my dissertation and it really seems to be flowing. I am just hopeful that in the next month or so that I will hear from WMU that they are reopening the interdisciplinary PhD program.
Where I'm At: I was at the Cleveland plant today then I had my interview with PPL Corporation. Seems like an interesting job, but I'm not sure if I will take it if it is offered. I'm going to have to see what happens.
Weather: It was hot today, but it has cooled down a little (7:00 pm) and it was nice enough to sit outside with the dogs.
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent 32%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:10 / 8:55
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June 29, 2022
Deck: Intuitive Night Goddess
First Impressions: Firecrackers, dancing, energized
Book: Success, Recognition, Innovation, Contribution, Trailblazer
Guidance: Believe in what you feel called to and others will believe as well
Journaling:
This is an interesting card about seeing where I'm going and people following me. I had a good conversation with J. at work today and one of our leaders asked what we were going to do about Roe V. Wade being overturned and the emotional impact. We also talked about terror and trauma. I felt listened to and heard and that was a good feeling. I also don't know where I'm going from here. I still feel raw and my emotions are still all over the place, but I do feel as if I was heard.
Where I'm At: I'm home today and it was a very productive day. I got a lot done and now I'm hanging out with the monsters.
Weather: It is beautiful outside. It is a little chilly and even the Great American Grem did not want to sit outside, but that's okay.
Moon Phase: New Moon
Sunrise / Sunset: 5:53 / 9:05
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March 2, 2022
Deck: Light Seer's Tarot
First Impressions: Happiness, Joy, contemplating adventure, looking toward the future, age doesn't matter
Book: Energy manifesting, waiting to see the results of your efforts, opportunities, moving in the right direction
Guidance: You are headed in the right direction
Journaling:
The gray hair tells me that this woman is mature and that she knows when to bide her time and when to jump in. She isn't just standing there because she is afraid or she doesn't know what she is doing, she is standing there because she knows the time is not quite right.
I really like this card because sometimes I think that being patient is a waste of time, but this card is telling me that I am right to wait and not rush into anything. I don't do well at waiting things out and biding my time as I want to leap to something new as soon as I am uncomfortable, but this card is telling me to wait. It's also telling me that good things are on my horizon.
Where I'm At: Tonight was a bad night as Clark and Wendy got into it again and I ended up having to take her to the emergency vet. They gave her antibiotics and pain meds. Sean got pissy about going with me, but I needed him to lift the baby.
Weather: It's cold and crisp
Moon Phase: New Moon 0%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:59 am / 6:18 pm
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Deck: Tarot of the Divine
First Impressions: Waiting, Patience
Book: Watching her progeny's ship come in
Guidance: Visionary Leadership will see a project flourish
Journaling
Reading Lisa's description of this card and how it reminded her of her mother's love is really difficult for me as I am coming to realize that I never truly had my mother's love. She loved the idea of me, but she didn't really love me. I was difficult, outspoken, and prickly and that wasn't someone she wanted to deal with. I'm writing a paper about addiction and shame and I'm realizing that I was shamed from the moment I was born. I was always too loud, not demure enough, too smart, too bookish, or too something else. My grandmother flat out told me that I was stuck up and my mother treated me as I wasn't who she wanted as a daughter. She wanted someone who would have been content to be a MRS and that was not me. I always wanted more out of life. I wanted to use my brain and I wanted to change the world. I had not desire to be the demure little wife. I'm also starting to realize how complicit my father was in this as he taught me that elders deserved respect no matter what and that women were to be subservient to men. Hell, he left churches when they got women minsters because the bible said that women should not lead men.
I'm realizing that I've spent my life swimming in shame after constantly being told that I wasn't good enough, that I was was bad to my very core. However, this card is only about Charlene if I choose to let it be about Charlene. I can choose to let her pilot my life or I can choose to pilot my own life and I'm going to choose to pilot my own life. I get to decide where I'm going and I'm going to figure out a way to have the life that I want to have. I'm not exactly sure yet what that looks like, but I will figure it out.
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| Three of Fire Dark Goddess Tarot |
Book: Ideas have a life of their own, Goddess credited with the invention of Magick, Transformation, Lack of jealousy
Guidance: Your creative ability is high, permanence is an illusion as everything changes, mix up things in your life, changing your appearance or your home is not a superficial act.
Journaling:
I needed this reminder that nothing is permanent. I get so caught up in wanting some things to remain the same that I forget how boring that can make life. Life truly is a journey and there is always something new to discover. What I am struggling with is reconciling the fact that nothing is permanent with my need for stability. How can I create a stable life when there truly is impermanence?
I think it comes down to building a financial foundation and a home and then going with the flow. It's interesting as I groaned when I pulled this card and I wanted to put it back and I did. I then pulled the witch of fire, but my conscious wouldn't let me cheat so I decided to keep the card that I originally pulled, although I did look at the reading for the Witch of Fire (Cerridwin). Cerridwin has a meaning that is complimentary to this one: Use an established framework or structure to keep your energy focused. What an amazing confirmation.
December 30, 2017
Wow! It always amazes me how the cards provide the lessons that I need and the confirmation, when necessary. I think the answer is to create a stable structure and create the magic within the structure. For me right now that means working on paying off my credit cards and my bills so that I have more flexibility financially. It also means going back to shopping at Aldi for whatever I can get there so I can cut my grocery budget. Not a big deal as I always went to Aldi when we lived in Chicago, I just got out of the habit.
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| Three of Fire Dark Goddess Tarot |
Book: Ideas have a life of their own, Knowing lore of all places, Friend of the witches, creative ability is high.
Guidance: Make the most of your creativity, express it, embrace change, mix up things in your life, change up your house
Journaling
Interesting that I pulled this card as I am embracing change and changing my personal space. I'm also cleaning out and getting rid of things that no longer serve me. This is a time of transformation and I feel the energy of change flowing.
Despite all the nastiness in the government, I feel good changes are afoot and it is time to embrace my creative side.
December 18, 2017
I love the thought that ideas have a life of their own and that we can manifest ourselves.
December 27, 2017
One of the things I've realized with this round of cleansing and getting rid of is that I don't have to purge everything at once. I can take my time and genuinely evaluate what serves me before I just get rid of it all. I've decided I'm going to take the next year to work through the books on my bookshelf in the wood room and I'm going to either keep them permanently, keep them as I haven't read them yet, or get rid of them. I don't have to make a decision today. In the past, I always thought that if I made a decision, I had to implement it right away, but I've realized that's not true. I can take time to evaluate and gently get rid of things instead of rushing to get rid of them. Doing things this way brings me peace instead of frustration
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Book: Blazing with personal power and passion. On fire with the joy of creativity, sexuality, and self empowerment. Life is flowing and nothing can hold you back. Be proud of all you are and all that you have accomplished.
Guidance: Be on fire with creativity, sexuality, and self empowerment. Don't let anything hold you back. Be proud of who you are and what you can and have accomplished. Be open to wherever life takes you.
Journaling:
Dancing, being joyous, comfortable in my own skin. I am a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it. What a wonderful card to draw for Beltane, the first fire festival. I did feel comfortable in my own skin today. I was happy being at home and I felt as if life was truly flowing. I choose to express myself joyously and wonderfully.
I love this card! It is one of my all time favorite tarot cards as she has such beauty and exuberance. This card makes me think about picking myself up and doing what needs to be done as I face life head on.
February 4, 2018
I've decided that this card is my talisman for the year. I love how she is big and bold and not afraid to be who she is. I sometimes feel so mousy and as if I am invisible to everyone. Sometimes it feels as if I tried so hard to be pretty and noticed, but no one noticed me so I've gone back to being in the background and in the shadows.
However, the truth of the matter is that no matter how I dress, I do like to be invisible. Being visible means i have to interact with people and I have to have conversations. Those things are really uncomfortable for me. I'm already trying to figure out how to get out of going to the Tarot Conference and at the end of the day it is fear that has me making up excuses. There is no real reason that I have for not going. I'm just afraid of interacting with people. I'm afraid that people won't like me. I'm afraid that people will make fun of me.
Raine--You will be taken care of and you will be loved. Just trust. It is all going to be wonderful.
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