Thursday, October 20, 2022

Six of Pentacles

October 20, 2022

Deck: 
 Tarot de St. Croix

First Impressions:  This is one of the few cards in this deck that I'm not a huge fan of.  However, as I reflect on the meaning of the card, I can see why Lisa chose to draw this card this way.  The Six of Pentacles is about giving and receiving and this card expresses that.  And in some ways it expresses it better than other decks as it shows each of the figures as both giving and receiving.

Book:  Find pleasure in giving to others.

Guidance:   Create a circle of giving and receiving

Journaling:

Despite initially not liking this card, I find it is growing on me as it is a good representation of giving and receiving energy.  When I contrast that with the more typical representation of this card, I actually like it better because each person is both giving and receiving.  The more traditional version shows giving and receiving as an either or proposition.

One of the things I have been working on is really treating people with kindness.  Even if I disagree with them, I can still be kind and I can still be gentle.  Although there are some times when you need to be blunt and direct, most of the time you can choose to be kind.

Where I'm At:  I'm at home today.  I had a good and productive day at work.  Things are coming into focus.  This place is so interesting as it seems like they have almost too much change management because every time I reach out I find someone else is doing OCM.

Weather: It was sunny earlier, but now it is cold and rainy 

Moon Phase:  Waning Crescent 25%

Sunrise / Sunset: 7:42/6:39

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 June 18, 2022

Deck:  Intuitive goddess

First Impressions:  Childlike, happy, I love the pink

Book:  Nostalgia, pleasure, desire, interconnectedness, joy

Guidance:   Find abundance and beauty around you and begin to share its magic

Journaling:

With Father's day coming up, I've been thinking a lot about my dad and about how much he loved us, but how set he was in his ways.  In a lot of ways this card summarizes those feelings as it is very much a card of money, but the pink is very feminine.  In my dad's world, those two things did not go together as he was very much of the school that men should make the money and women should take care of the house.

When I think about this, I go back to the other card I pulled this week about taking the good with the bad.  My father's feelings about women were definately bad, but I know that he loved me and genuinely cared for me.  I need to let go of that and think about how much he loved me and how much he loved the kids.  I know that he loved me and i know he loved Sean and Cam.  I also know that he loved dogs so much and I can't imagine how much he would have loved our two mutts.

Where I'm At:  I'm home this week and Cam and I had a great day today.  We went down to Cupcake Castle, where she wants to get her birthday cake from.  We also went to a funky little store that sells Wind Chimes and I bought an awesome wind chime.  For now it is outside, but I'm going to hang it in my office.  Then we stopped in Bedford and had a great lunch.  It was just nice to be out and about.

Weather:  It was an absolutely beautiful day today.  It wasn't too hot or too cold.

Moon Phase:  Waning Gibbous 78%

Sunrise / Sunset: 5:50 /9:04

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May 12, 2022

Deck:  Tarot of Little Secrets

First Impressions:  Juggling, giving, receiving, balance

Book:  Charity, generosity, scholarship, asking for help

Guidance:   Balance is found in embracing community

Journaling:

I love this little secret and I am realizing that it is so true.  I never really felt the need for community before as I thought I could do it alone.  Additionally, I was always afraid of community as it felt like letting people in meant that they would get to close and learn my secrets.  Then they would use these secrets to stab me in the back.  In all fairness, this was the lesson that I learned from my family.  It was all about gossip, unsolicited advice and using a person's secrets against them.  However, going to Al-Anon helped me to see that not everyone is like that and that there are good people in the world who won't use and abuse you.

Life really is about giving and receiving, but when you give it should be freely given and not because someone is demanding you give.  That is the differentiator and the most important thing I have learned in my journey to healing is that love, time, etc. should be given and not demanded.  Once I learned that lesson and started taking care of myself and not investing all my time and energy in others, life got much better.

Where:  I'm at home today with Wendy cuddled up next to me

Weather:  It was hot outside today, but it felt good

Moon Phase:  Waxing Gibbous 83%

Sunrise / Sunset: 6:08/8:36

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December 6, 2016

Six of Pentacles
Gilded Tarot
First Impressions:  I'm not sure how I feel about this card as the hands are very disjointed and he is so focused on the scale that he isn't looking at the people.  This card is about judgement and about deciding who to give to.

Book:  Giving, letting resources fall by the wayside, giving too much, choices, needs being mutually met, power imbalance, abuse

Guidance:  Give wisely, examine your motives in giving, strive for more equality

Journaling

This card confirms what I know in my heart that X and I will never be together.  He sees me as a peer and as strong and that's not what he wants.  He likes to be the white knight who rides the rescue and that's not the situation any more.  I think I knew it was over 3 years ago when he said I was a strong woman.  That should have been a compliment, but it hurt like hell.  It felt as if I was slapped in the face.  In some ways, that was worse than all the insults that John threw at me.  At the time, I thought my reaction was just me being paranoid, but I knew now that wasn't paranoia, that was the end of whatever chance I had of being with him.  He likes damsels in distress and that was the day I knew that wasn't me any longer.

January 23, 2018

I'm not exactly sure how I got from the six of pentacles to the conclusion I drew, but I guess that is what the gods were whispering in my ear when I pulled this card.  When I look at this pull in combination with the Nine of Pentacles Reversed that I drew before, this makes so much sense.   The nine of pentacles was me being released from my golden cage and this card is confirming that I am my own person.  I no longer need someone to take care of me as I'm quite capable of taking care of myself.

The thing is that I've been quite capable of taking care of myself for quite a long time, but because of the conditioning I received, I thought I needed someone and that I was nothing on my own.  It's taken me a long time to realize it, but I am good enough on my own and I don't need someone to take care of me.  I've also realized that collaborating and being taken care of are two different things.  I can collaborate with people and continue to be capable and strong.

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