Saturday, September 24, 2022

Temperance

 September 24, 2022

Deck:  The Gentle Tarot

First Impressions:  I love the sense of freedom and balance in this card.  She is literally balancing on a wire.  I'm also learning that the nudeness in these cards is not sexual, but a way of showing someone as unencumbered.

Book:  Harmony is my natural state.  I breathe into balance and shine on.

Guidance:   Check in to see if you are in balance

Journaling:

The last couple of days, I have really felt like I am in balance.  I have worked to let go of overwork, to let go of poverty consciousness, and to let go of all the junk that is holding me back.  I heard that M got a promotion and at first that upset me, but then I stepped back and realized that that actually had nothing at all to do with me.  That led me to realize that there is enough prosperity and goodness in the world for everyone, even the annoying people.  It also was a good reminder that I need to focus on me and let go of everyone and everything else.  

When I get all caught up in what is happening to everyone else, it takes the focus away from me and takes away the focus on what is important to me and what I need in my life.  When I focus on my life, life is much better.  Since I've really started thinking and feeling that way, I haven't thought as much about John either.  He is a total jerk, but what he has or doesn't have doesn't matter to me.  I need to focus on what I have in my life and not everyone else.

Where I'm At:  I went to the farmers market and got a lot of yummy produce including some amazing honey crisp apples.  Then I went to this awesome vintage store in Chagrin Falls and I got a Chinese Rice Basket that I'm going to use to store stuff and a needlepoint portrait.  It is similiar to the one I got at the Bomb Shelter.

Weather:  It was an amazingly beautiful day outside.  The perfect temperature and clear and crisp.

Moon Phase:  Waning Crescent 2%

Sunrise / Sunset: 7:14 / 7:21

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May 30, 2022


Deck:  Tarot of Little Secrets

First Impressions:  Diligence, focus, water

Book: Balance, moderation, creativity in solving problems, unification, harmony

Guidance: Swim with the current, stay in the flow

Journaling:

For me this card is saying "stay in the moment."  It is about being present in everything I do and not spending my time regretting the past or living in the future.  This is very hard to do sometimes because it is so easy to get lost in the past and have regrets about how my life turned out.  I know that if Charlene had not been abusive, I would have had a very different life.  I could have gone to law school, I could have gotten a PhD, there is so much that I would have done differently if I had been raised to believe I was worth something and that I mattered.  It is really hard to not be angry about that.  It is hard to let go of that.  I also know that I would not have married John because I would have seen the red flags.  However, not marrying John would have meant not having Sean and Cam because they are the lights of my life and my reason to keep going.  At the very least, I would have understood that I did not have to put up with his bullshit and would have left sooner.

However, at the end of the day thinking about what should have been doesn't get me very far.  I need to focus on what is and what is is that I have a job that pays well, I'm going to school, I have a home that shelters me, I have food on the table.  I am truly blessed and when I stay in that moment, life is good.

Where:  I'm at home.  I had a really good day today.  I spent time out in my hammock that Seano put together for me and it was so nice to just be in the moment.  It was nice to be present and not be reading or letting other distractions get to me.

Weather:  It was beautiful out today.  I got up to about 80, but on my hammock it was beautiful

Moon Phase:  New Moon

Sunrise / Sunset: 5:53 / 8:53

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February 25, 2022

Deck:  Light Seer's Tarot

First Impressions:  Melding, alchemy, making magick, swirling lights, peace

Book:  Alchemy, blending energies, harmony, duality, meditation

Guidance:   In the realm of the divine, all things are possible

Journaling:

I'm sitting here in my calm and peaceful house thinking about the people in Ukraine who were going about their business and now they are being bombed, for nothing except being living in the wrong country.  The world seems so unfair and so harsh today.  I also know that millions of people are raising their voices, but I don't know if it will do anything.  It feels like the Women's Marches all over again, we went and raised energy, but nothing happened and we are so much worse off than before fuckface was president.

Temperance tells me to stay calm and balanced and  not go off half-cocked, but I'm feeling sad, depressed, and angry over all that is happening.  However, I am also reading The Book of Joy and reading of how the Dalai Lama found himself an exile in his early 20s and he still maintained joy.  The thing is that I know my sadness and anger does nothing to help, but I also don't know what I can do on a practical level.  I also am feeling somewhat cynical as I think that we are all in a kerfuffle now about this, but we'll all get over it just like we get over everything else and life will go back to normal.  We have this peace at all costs mentality.

Where I'm At:  I'm sitting at home on the couch thinking deep thoughts about the world and peace and whether any of it all matters.

Weather:   It is cold and snowy

Moon Phase:  Waning Crescent 32%

Sunrise / Sunset: 7:07 am/ 6:12 pm

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January 15, 2022

Deck: 
 Tarot of the Divine

First Impressions:  Calm among the chaos, Peace despite everything that is swirling around, keeping things into perspective, balance, effortlessness

Book;  Moderation, harmony, purpose, good influence, reconciliation

Guidance:  Be mutable, know when to change with the times and when to change the situation itself

Journaling

This is an interesting reading on the card of temperance.  I usually think of it as being fluid and being balanced.  I needed this reminder today as I am feeling out of sorts.  Wendy is hurt and yesterday I relieved the worst day of my life as she woke up not feeling well and I was totally freaked out.  My mind when back to July 30, 2017, the day when I lost my Lukey. I was so scared that Wendy was not going to make it and that it was something really bad.  I woke the kids up at 5:30 because I didn't know what was wrong.  Ultimately, we took her to the vet and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.  She hurt herself when she knocked down the baby gate.

This is a card I also needed to see because I feel so overwhelmed by everything that I just feel frozen.  The house is a mess and it just feels overwhelming to think about cleaning it.  I also know that I need to start my school work, but I feel frozen and as if I can't do it.  On a very practical level, temperance is telling me to sit and to take time to meditate and let all the insanity whirl around me.  then I can make a plan for getting through the day and doing all that needs to be done.  I'm going to start with turning things over and meditating.  Then I'll come up with a plan for the day.



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July 8, 2019


First Impressions:  Balance, creating magick, blending, creating something new, openness

Book:  Grace and precision, blending different elements of life into a work of art, teaches us to balance opposites, urges temperance in all things, often brings message of physical or spiritual healing

Guidance:  Think before you act

Journaling

It is always interesting to me how the exact words I need to hear spring up out of a reading.  I was debating whether or not I needed to take a walk today and my brain was being whiny and saying, "You had a hard day, it's okay if you don't walk today."  Then I read that this was often a message of physical healing and that was the kick in the ass I needed to get my butt out and taking a walk today.  I know that I need to do something physical every day and that was one of my goals for the year, but there are days when it is just way too easy to be lazy.  I'm learning that being self indulgent once in a while is okay, but it is when it becomes a pattern.  It's when there are too many days in a row where I'm self indulgent that it is a pattern.

The other piece that struck me about this reading was the blending of different elements of life into a work of art.  I'm not there yet and I don't know if I consider the various elements of my life blended because sometimes I think that I compartmentalize too much.  However, I do know that I am working to make all of the parts of my life work together so that I'm moving in one direction instead of being so disparate.  Although I did work this evening, my goal is to be able to do my work during the days so that my evenings when I travel are dedicated to school work.  If I can get to that point, I'll be able to spend the time I'm home truly being present for my family. 

I think one of the most interesting pieces of this card is that the angel is blending water to create something so this is about truly blending the elements of my life and not about balancing them and having balance in my life.  This also tells me that there are times when one piece of my life will get more attention than another.  Maybe having a balanced life is really impossible and we should strive for a blended life where everything comes together to create a full life.


Gratitudes
I got a good night's sleep
I had a peaceful morning at the hotel
I had a yummy salad for dinner
I got a nice email from Lisa
We had a good decision paper session
I made time to tarot today

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April 7, 2018

Deck:  RWS

First Impressions:  Balance, creating something magical

Book:  Eternal rainbow linking heaven and earth, mastery over water and earth, uniting of conscious and subconscious, the path to enlightenment, adaption,

Guidance:  By cooperating with other people, you can achieve great things, work on improving yourself

Journaling

This card is about balancing and adapting.  I have not done such a good job of that this week.  I've let myself be pushed into things that are not in my best interests, like giving up my poetry night.  I've also not had the time to myself I've needed.  Cam has chosen to go home instead of go to class and that's meant I haven't had the peace and solitude that I crave.  Maybe the message here is that I need less solitude and ore time with people. 

What I really need to do is to find and embrace my tribe.  I'm not there yet and I don't know how to get there.  Making friends is really hard for me.  I don't think I'm alone in that as suburbia makes it hard and working remote doesn't help.

December 29, 2018  Revisit

One of the things that I have realized lately is that I do have my tribe. They might not be close, but they do care about me and they are there to listen to me and to help me.  Maybe that is what is right for me.  I do know that I have been opening my heart and asking the universe to help me find my tribe.  I just need to have confidence that when it is right, it will show up and it will be great.

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January 7, 2018

Alchemy
Dark Goddess Tarot
Deck:  
Dark Goddess tarot

Card Name:  Alchemy

First Impressions:  I love the Celtic knot work on this card and the fact that Brighid is wearing a Brighid's cross.  I didn't realize at first that she was standing in front of a fire and thought she was stirring a pot of creativity.  I guess either option is apt as she is both the goddess of the forge and the goddess of creativity.

Book:  Fire purifies, water restores, powerful and approachable, something new that arises from the union.

Guidance:  Situation is improved by providing skill and attention, different feelings require expression, pull the pain out of your soul, seek balance.

Journaling:

Wow!  As I pulled this card, I found myself facing Brighid.  She was standing behind the flames and beckoning me to step through the forms and to be transformed.  She stands there, welcoming me, beckoning me, calling me; but stepping through the flames of transformation has to be my choice.  I can step through the flames of love or I can choose to stay where I am.  She is telling me that the burning flames of passion will transform me and not destroy me.  I realize that I have been terrified that if I allow myself to fall in love again, I will lose all that I am.  She is telling me that I will change, but will be transformed.

January 13, 2018

This was the third card in a row I pulled that talked about change and growth.  I'm realizing, that I'm tired of the corporate world.  I'm tired of all the games, of the need to play nice, of the need to take bullets for the company.  I'm tired of it all, but I like my salary and I like the freedom.  Part of my problem is that I always lead with my heart.  I put my heart and soul into what I do and it's hard when that is for a company that doesn't value what I do.  I'm bone tired and weary.  I also know that part of the reason I stay is for the benefits that I keep in case I need to go to the doctor or need to seek care. It is difficult to consider being an entrepreneur in this country when the cost of healthcare is so high.

Dearest ones,

Please guide me down the path I am meant to be on and help me find a way to feed my soul and have the house and benefits I have now.  Help me and guide me to the people that it is right for me to meet.  Help me to find a way to build a spiritual business while still receiving my paycheck until I am in a position to go solo.

Blessed be,

Raine

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