Saturday, September 10, 2022

Spread for Coping with Change

This week will be my last week at my current job and I'll be starting my new job on September 12th.  There is a big part of me that is a little freaked out about starting something new, which is ironic as I do change management for a living.  I found a spread at Two Sides Tarot for coping with change and decided to give it a shot. 

Since this is a spread about a new job, I also decided to use a deck that was new to me for the spread.  I'm using Ciro Marchatti's Tarot Grand Luxe.

1. A card to reflect on for this transitional phase.

I need to be strong and let go of what has become familiar.  There is a part of me that doesn't want to leave and that would rather do penance for what I supposedly did wrong.  I have always thought that it showed strength to do penance and seek redemption.  However, I've come to realize that there are situations where it was not my fault and that there is no need for me to do penance and seek redemption.  In this case, I have done nothing wrong.  I am not the one that screwed this up.  I did my job and raised the issues to the SteerCo.  It is not my fault if they chose to not act upon the information.  And it is not my fault if Brian chose to act bizarrely.  

I am going to act with strength and go out with my head held eye. When I'm in the office, I'm going to have a fuck you attitude and Brian is just going to have to deal with it.  Eventually, his Karma will catch up with him.

2. What approach might you take to manage and work with the move or change?

This card is both a message and a warning.  The message is to manage my own emotions and to make sure that I acknowledge my sadness and grief over leaving.  It is okay to have those feelings and I deserve them.  I'm feeling sad, lost, lonely and wondering if I really do want to leave.  However, I'm also excited and looking forward to something new.  I realized today that part of what I am looking forward to is knowing that no one is going to unexpectedly demand I show up at the office.  Visits to the office will be planned.

The warning of this card is to make sure I keep logic in mind as well.  It is stupid to make me move to PA to work remote.  However, I can't say that.  I just need to go with the program and make it work.  

3. How might you integrate and ground this change?

The Star is not a card that I think of when I think of being grounded.  The Star is about hope and looking forward.  Maybe that is the message of the Star, that this is a good move for me and that things are looking up.  For me, things looking up mean a better management team that actually respects the people who work for them.  It can also mean permanently working remote.  All of these are good things.

As I reflect upon this, I realize that hope can help me integrate this change as it can give me something to look forward to and can help me to continue to realize my worth.  One of the best things about working at Nestle was that I had to step out of my comfort zone and do things that were a little bit difficult for me.  Doing those things really helped me to realize that I am capable of so much m ore than I give myself credit for.

4. A ritual to bless your new space, project, or path.

The tower showed up and that seems like a weird card for a blessing.  However, when I look at the tower as destroying illusion and getting rid of that which no longer works, it makes sense.  I didn't do a formal ritual to bless my new path, but I did very deliberately take steps to burn the path behind me and cut the ties that I no longer need.  

I sent Brian an email telling him that he really wasn't a leader.  I told him his behavior in walking past me was childish and that more people were going to leave unless he stepped up and really became a leader.  It felt good to speak my piece and to be honest about my feelings.  All too often we get told to be kind, to not build bridges, etc.  And all too often, this is really about not speaking our piece and about not making waves.  We are kept in submission by the beliefs that no  one will like us if we are honest about our feelings.

I've decided that I no longer give a rat's ass if people don't like me.  I am tired of not being honest about who I am and what is going on in my life.  I would rather speak my piece and deal with the consequences, that hold my tongue and beat myself up for not speaking my piece.

5. How might you rest and replenish yourself during and after this process?

The Queen of Swords tells me to not relitigate my speaking my truth.  It is my right and duty to speak my truth and to let the chips fall where they may.  I also need to let go of all the things that I cannot control.  I can't control what happens next, but I just need to let go and trust the process will work.  

Embracing my playful side is also important.  I get so caught up in catastrophizing, that I forget to just enjoy what happens in the world and to be happy.  Life is not horrible, we make it horrible by listening to the news and by worrying about what's going to happen.

6. What might come next on this new path or in this new place?

I will continue to come into my own and continue to embrace my gifts.  The thing is that my guides have been whispering since yesterday that it is all going to work out.  I just need to let go of my fear and trust that it will work out and that it is all going to be exactly how it should be.  They have always nurtured me and cared for me and given me no reason to distrust them.

I need to let go of all my worry and trusst.

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