Sunday, August 21, 2022

The Magician

August 21, 2022

Deck:  Secrets of the Rose Tarot

Card Name:  The Magus

First Impressions:  I love the subtly of this card.  He is still in the staying alive position, but it is way more subtle than in some other cards.  He is also surrounded by so much magical goodness.  The vials, the books, all the good stuff sitting around the room.  Stepping into this room is like stepping into an amazing magical sanctuary.

Book:  Eloquence, skill, subtlety, quick-wittedness

Guidance:   Translate ideas into action

Journaling:

I love the idea of magick as being about translating ideas into action and that is something I've always known.  However, the most important part about magick is that it isn't just about lighting candles and saying magick words.  It is also about doing the cold hard work of making it happen.  It is about putting out resumes, it is about summarizing articles, it is about making phone calls.  You cannot just do magick and expect it to happen.  You also had to put shoeleather to the street and do the hard work.

I'm looking at my little PhD altar and wondering how things are perculating and how things are going to manifest into reality and I don't know.  I know it will happen, but I'm just not sure how.  And that is the magick!

Where I'm At:  I'm still feeling like death.  The exhaustion is the absolute worst thing.  It is worse than my normal exhaustion.  It just feels like I'm being sucked down into a black hole of exhaustion over and over and over.

Weather:  It was rainy and overcast again, but it wasn't too hot

Moon Phase:  Waning Crescent 29%

Sunrise / Sunset: 6:39 am / 8:18 pm

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April 27, 2022

Deck:  Tarot of Little Secrets

First Impressions:  The moon is a scythe, he is wearing a pentacle, and the wand is a fire wand instead of just a magic wand.  He is a man in charge

Book:  Manifestation, Divine Spark, resourcefulness, awareness

Guidance:  Reverence is the backdrop of power

Journaling:

I love this saying as it is a reminder that we need to be humble and remember that we are not the source of power.  There is a saying that absolute power corrupts absolutely and this is a reminder that that happens when we start valuing ourselves and looking at ourselves as our own source of power.  We are not our own sources of power.  Everything we are and everything we have comes from deity.  I know that shamans in the olden days would lose their power if they started believing it came from them and were disrespectful to the gods.

We are all on a quest and a journey and our power is not ours alone.  I remind myself of that whenever I start to get uppity.  I used to be uppity about my magick, but I have been humbled and I know now that everything I have is a gift and is not really mine.  Humility is something I learned after my divorce and it is something I have really embraced.  I'm not perfect with it, but I do work to be humble. 

Where:  I'm home, but today was a rough day physically.  I started to get a cough and just felt really rough.  I went to bed at 8 and slept till 8 am.  I actually felt a lot better when I woke up.

Weather:  It was cold outside, but sunny

Moon Phase:  Waning Crescent 12

Sunrise / Sunset: 8:26 / 8:20

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September 17, 2019



Deck:  Tarot de St. Croix 

First Impressions:  Magic, Power, Control, Making things happen 

Book:  Rumi bringing gifts on the solstice.  Using will, the elements, and Spirit to manifest that which is desired 

Guidance:  Through focused energy we are able to harness the means to create our destiny 

Journaling:  Interesting that I've been picking a lot of cards about manifesting lately and about using energy to manifest what we want.  This is one of my very favorite images of the magician as I love how he is channeling the cards themselves into being.  Manifestation has been on my mind lately as I think about what it really takes to manifest and how it is not just lighting a few candles and chanting, it is also putting our hearts, our souls, and the sweat of our brow into bringing what we want into fruition.  I've used that formula to manifest lots of things in my life including the very house that I'm sitting in.

The question I'm pondering now is how to manifest things that are more eternal, like love and friendship?  What magick do I do and what real world actions do I take to bring love and friendship into my life?  And how do I do that magick when my life is so crazy and it seems like I'm never in one place long enough to go out and meet people?  This is a quandary that I've been pondering for quite some time as I think about what magick and manifestation means to me.  Maybe the bottom line is that I still need to do some work on loving myself.  I have come so far, but maybe there is still work to do.

Gratitudes
I'm grateful for snuggling with Wendy on the couch
I'm grateful for Sean going to get Ohio City Burrito
I'm grateful for getting work done
I'm grateful for the beautiful weather out
I'm grateful for the kids taking the dog's for a walk
I'm grateful for both doggos
I'm grateful for Cam getting french fries

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May 28, 2019


Deck:  World Spirit Tarot   
 First Impressions:  Making things happen, conduit

Book:  Channeling spiritual energy, accessing immense power, directing energy, creating and transforming situations

Guidance:  Take an active approach to life

Journaling:

I like to call this card the "get shit done" card and it is a card about being connected to the divine and seeing the next step laid out before you.  This is a card that bypasses intuition and just lets the energy of spirit happen.  When Magician energy comes into my life, I feel as if the future just happens. It is as if I think something and it happens. However, to become a Magician takes a lot of thought and training in order to get to the point when muscle memory takes over and the signal goes from holy spirit to hand without thought.

It's odd to think about where I'm at in life right now and to realize that I am at a magician phase in my life and I'm able to do things quickly and make them happen without a lot of thought.  That's because I have so much experience that I know instinctively when to zig and when to zag.  Even if I have not happened upon the exact same circumstances, I've had enough experiences to be able to draw on those experiences and be successful.  What's truly interesting about where I'm at right now is that I've never let myself get to this stage of something before.  I've always walked away before I've become an expert because I got bored and wanted to learn new things.  However, what I'm realizing is that being a Magician is about being able to take what you know and quickly apply it to new situations.

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December 14, 2017

Deck:  Dark Goddess Tarot

First Impressions:  I love this depiction of Isis with her arms outstretched and her wings surrounding Osiris.  For me this is a reminder of the transforming and magical power of love.

Book:  Wife, Mother, Queen, Protector

Guidance:  Use words of power to achieve your goals, see clearly what you want, change what you can

Journaling:

Interesting card today as I've been feeling very magical lately.  I finally feel as if I can achieve what I want/need in my life.  The past month has been hell, but I'm finally feeling positive.  Isis is about creating magic, but she is also the pure power of love.

December 18, 2017 Update

Isis is not only magic, she is also a cared of pure love.  She goes after what she wants from a place of love.

December 27, 2017 Updae

I love both Isis and Nephthys and it is very powerful to be surrounded by their wings and feel their great love.  Isis always gets all the publicity because she was the queen, but Nephthys is just as powerful and together they compliment each other.  Isis is the romantic love, while Nephthys is sisterly love and the all encompassing love for humanity.

Every since I have been dedicated to Nephthys, I've see the positive, independent side of her, but lately I have been starting to feel the warm and loving side of her.  Despite her own horribly abusive marriage, she stood by Isis' side as she went looking for Osiris and she is the one who is the one who comforts those who are in mourning.  She is the one who loves when it is painful to love, she is the one who loves through encouraging people to get back up and to stand on their own two feet after something traumatic has happened.

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November 18, 2017




Deck:  Gilded Tarot

First Impressions:  Make things happen

Book:  Serious person, fully aware of the laws of cause and effect

Guidance:  Learning to control your will to accomplish what you want, message of discipline and responsibility, be aware of controlling and manipulating

Journaling

I love the reminder that I can create what I want in my life.  I am also reminded of the old adage that with great power comes great responsibility.  There have been so many cases lately of powerful people brought down because they thought they were above the law.  However power can also be used to positively impact the world. 

I also take this card as a reminder to believe in the power of magick and the universe!  There are forces in the world that we cannot understand and being in touch with them can help us better understand the world around us.

November 20, 2017 Review

I needed this reminder to reconnect with magick.  The past week has been really rough as I was juggling multiple projects and multiple roles.  I sometimes feel like there isn't enough time to get the work done, which means I don't have time for me.  I need to do a better job of making time for me.

November 8, 2018 Review

Interesting as I pulled this card this evening as well.  This is a card that reminds me I hold the keys to my own fate.  I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to own my life.  I'm realizing that I need to start setting some serious boundaries around work or I will let myself get consumed.  I'm not sure yet what all of those boundaries are, but I do know that I will never take another red eye flight again.  They totally mess with my body and I am out of commission for a few days after ward.  I already have the rule of no early morning flights for the same reason.  Not sure what the rest of my personal rules are, but I'm working on that list.
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April 30, 2017


Deck;  Herbal tarot

Card:  Magician, pulled reversed

First Impressions:  Power draining away

Book:  Trickster, being mislead, travel delays, creative blocks

Guidance:  Accept the limitations of your power.  Point your wand in another direction

Affirmation:  I accept my limitations

Journaling

Interesting card to draw today and I'm not sure what it means.  However, I know I could go down the rabbit hole trying to figure out who is misleading me so I am going to choose to continue to open my heart to receive.  I have spent way too much time in my life waiting for the other shoe to drop and waiting to be stabbed in the heart.  I am going to accept and receive instead of closing myself off.  There are always people out to deceive.  I'm going to trust that deity has my back and I'm going to quit analyzing everything people say and looking for hidden agendas.

May 5, 2017 Revisit
This is easier said than done.  I feel as if I have been betrayed my entire life and I've spent my life muddling through and doing my best with no one to love and care for me.  I think that is why X is so important to me.  He is one of the first people in my life to show me unconditional love without judging or rejecting.  I need unconditional love in my life.



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January 3, 2017


Deck:  Robin Wood Tarot.  Card pulled reversed

First Impressions:  Robin's Magician is one of my favorite cards in this deck.  I love how he the image is closer and more personal than most magician cards.  He also feels very personable  and I love the deer head because it makes him very shamanic.  Reversed the impressions I get of this card are of blocked energy and humility.

Book:  Greed, deceit, out of touch with reality, not realizing your full potential, more to give, not using skills for spiritual journey, doubting

Guidance:  Trust your instincts, pay attention to synchronicity

Journaling:

So many interesting meanings with this card.  Based on my New Year's reading, I truly feel as if I'm being called to move in a different direction, but I'm not sure what it is yet.  I feel so alive when I am working with Tarot and using it to uncover the mysteries of myself, but I'm not sure how to parlay that into building a financial future.

Dearest Ones,

Please guide me to my destiny.  I know what you have planned for me is so much better than what I could do alone.  Please help me to reach my full potential and please help me to find my partner.  Please help me to open my heart to love.

Blessings, Raine

January 3, 2018 Review

It is amazing as I read through my old tarot journals and transcribe them how much I can see my faith growing.  Although there are days when it feels like I am still the same old control freak who has to control absolutely every aspect of her life, I can see my willingness to let go and surrender continuing to grow.  As scary as it is to contemplate, I'm realizing that they are not going to provide me with a perfectly written business plan for how to become a full time spiritual entrepreneur.  Instead, I'm going to have to continue to take one step at a time and look for the next cairn.

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October 9, 2016

This card was pulled reversed

Deck:  Faerie tarot

Initial Impressions:  Out of my control, powerless

Book:  Ineffective communication, hidden motives, inability to manifest desires, lack of ideas and willpower, defeated, focus on self

Guidance:  Accept the limitations of your power

Journaling

This card is so appropriate as I have been feeling so powerless lately  I feel as if my life is not my own and as if I will never have the rich, full life I want.  It seems as if I am trapped working at a job I really don't like to pay the bills.  I am so flipping depressed as if feels that nothing I do moves the energy.  I'm really ready for my happily ever after.

Just trust.  It will all work out.  You just need to trust the energy and let it move.  You will be okay.

05/12/2018 review

 As I think back to where I was when I pulled this card, i realized that I was stuck and feeling like I wasn't able to move forward because I couldn't have the person that I wanted.  In the time since, I've realized that sometimes we need to let go of our dreams because there is something bigger and better waiting for us.

I've also learned that it is really important to know ourselves and be comfortable with ourselves.  I think I'm finally getting to that place where I can say that I love myself without feeling like I'm lying.  And that's a whole lot of progress.

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September 19, 2016

Deck:  Hanson Roberts Tarot

First Impressions:  I always call this version of The Magician the Staying Alive card because he reminds me of John Travolta in Staying Alive.  He also reminds me of Fabio with the bare chest.  I love the roses in the tree around him which makes me smile.  This card speaks to me of directing power, using resources wisely, and making things happen.

Book:  Creativity, inspiration, letting inspiration flow through you, power of the mind, card of individuality

Guidance:  Trust and let go of worries, master yourself

Journaling:

What an appropriate card for today.  I truly had to channel energy today and make things work that seemed impossible.  I've also realized what one of my key skills is: I am a closer and I can make things happen that seem impossible.  I can also create order out of chaos.

December 23, 2017 Review

I have absolutely no clue what was going on that I felt this card was important.  I know I was working at Gateway last year, but I'm not sure what was happening.  However, I do know that I've always been a closer as I'm creative and I find ways to make things work that other people can't see.  I also a a bulldog and I don't let go when I think there is a way.  Sometimes I hold on to things longer than I should and I am learning that sometimes it is okay to let go and walk away, but I'm also proud of the creativity I bring to my life.

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May 6, 2016

This card was pulled reversed



Deck:  Gaian Tarot

Journaling

This card is about connection to power and the ancestors.  It is about findoug our poower and being one with the universe.  Pulling the magician reversed is about disconnection and not feeling supported and anchored tot he greater world.

Interesting as I was writing this (on 5/8), a deer came up from the ravine and walked very slowly and deliberately across the world.  She stopped when she was right by the prayer flags and walked very deliberately through the yard.  She stared at me for the longest time.  I felt as if i was being reminded that I am connected to the world around me.  I can choose to feel or not feel the connection.  


This card could also be telling me that creative energies are blocked due to low self-esteem or inability to focus.  Other meanings could be refusal to take responsibility or being stuck in self-limiting beliefs.

Am I stuck?  Am i so intent on having my own way that I might be refusing to look at things from different perspectives?  Am I so intent on getting out of Chicago permanently that I can't see how fortunate I am to have a good paying job where I am appreciated and respected?  Is it possible to figure out a way to make this work while only being in Cleveland part time?    Are there gifts in the situation that i am missing?  Is there a possibility that staying at NTT is for the best?

I think I need to let go and surrender myself to what will be instead of insisting on having my own way

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