Thursday, August 4, 2022

August word of the month: Harvest (beginning)

  To help my personal growth, I've decided that not only will I have a card of the year, I will also choose a word each month to study and reflect on.  I'll be reading books and articles on my word of the month as well as figuring out activities that will help me incorporate that word into my life.  My word of the month for August is:


At the beginning and end of each month, I will also do a reading.  The beginning of the month reading will be about what lessons I can learn from the card and the end of month reading will be about what I did learn.  

Beginning of the Month Reading

Deck:  Sacred Rose Tarot

What does harvest mean for me right now?

As you sow, so shall you reap.
What we harvest in life is a direct result of the choices we make.  Although there are things in life that happen to us that our out of our control, how we respond is within our control.  This has been a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately as I look at my life and how my choices have led to certain things happening.  I chose to move to Ohio and it turned out to be a really good decision as living in that small apartment during a pandemic would have made life difficult.  I've also chosen to cut my mother out of my life and that has led to a lot of healing.  Giving myself time and distance from her has led to my seeing her manipulation and the pain she brought to me.

The decision to adopt Wendy has also led to a lot of healing. She is the most obstinate, bossy, and in some ways downright unpleasant dog I've ever had.  She mirrors a lot of my worst traits.  However, what I have learned from having Wendy in my life is that I deserve live in spite of my worst characteristics.  Loving Wendy has really helped me to learn to love myself more and that is something I never could have anticipated.  

What do I need to learn about harvest?

That it is not only hard lessons and learnings that the harvest can bring into my life.  It is also creativity and joy.  As I associate harvest with food and being sustained, I often forget that flowers are harvested as well.  I also need to remember that sometimes things can be harvested even if no conscious work goes into growing them.  For instance, wild flowers grow and even though I do not sow them, they can bring a harvest of joy.

I also need to let go of thinking about the harvest as only something tangible that I consume.  The rose mallows at Shaker Nature center are so beautiful and it is a joy to see them every year, but I don't consciously consume them.  I also had nothing to do with their creation. 

As I reflect on this, I also realize that sometimes we harvest bad things that we had no part in creating.  Kids get cancer due to situations outside of their control.  Natural disasters strike.  

As I write this, I realize that a big part of the lesson about harvest is that sometimes things, good or bad, come to us that other people or situations initiated.

What do I need to do to bring harvest into my life?

The reading on this card is interesting as it talks about materialism and about how worshipping at the altar of materialism can bring about someone's ruin.  My initial thought on this was to reject it and go to my default reading of the five of pentacles of need to ask for help.  However, as I reflect on this reading, I realize that this is part of what I need to do to bring the good things of harvest into my life.  I need to let go it being all about the money.  I'm starting to do that as I'm working to pay off my credit cards so I am not so married to having a high priced job.  Not having credit card debt will let me live a simpler life.

The other meaning of this card is also pertinent as I need to realize that the harvest cycle is not all about one person.  The harvest always requires multiple people working together.  If I look at harvesting crops, there are people who plant the crops, people who tend the crops, and a whole crew of people who harvest them.  It is not done in isolation.  I always think about the stories of farmers who've gotten sick and their neighbors help them harvest the crops.  I need to remember that I am not solely responsible for anything in my life.  There are always helpers.

What benefits will I have bringing harvest into my life?

Harvest will bring light and joy into my life.  Harvest as a concept will also help remind me that there are so many accomplishments that I have worked for and that I deserve to celebrate.  One of the realizations I have had recently is that all too often I don't take pride in my achievements and I believe that everyone can do what I do.  However, working with Glenn has helped me realize that that is not true.  I deserve just as much credit for getting the department up and running as he does.  And as he told me, he doesn't know if he could have done it without me.  Unfortunately, I did not get credit for that in terms of a promotion.  All I got was a stupid fucking ignorant title that means nothing.  I mean "Expert," what the fuck does that even mean?  And even worse, I did not get Senior Expert even though MEN who have a lot less experience than me did.

Welcoming the concept of harvest into my life will mean that I know the difference between collective achievements and my own achievements.

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