Saturday, June 4, 2022

The Fool

June 4, 2022

Deck:  Tarot of Little Secrets

First Impressions:  Happy little dog, almost looks like a scare grow, love the dragon flies buzzing around

Book:  New beginnings, innocence, faith, fearlessness, daring

Guidance: Put your best foot forward

Journaling:

I've always loved the fool because he seems brave and ready to put all the bullshit aside and be happy.  There is a cynical part of me that wonders if he is able to be happy because he is innocent, because he doesn't understand all the bad stuff that is out there.  It reminds me of when I first started at Nestle and we were putting together a temperature check system at the front door.  And my my first thought is what if someone chooses not to participate and they bring a gun.  As Martyn was Australian, he didn't understand my concerns.  He was the fool in that instance because he was innocent, where I was jaded and knew what this country was like.

There are days I really wish that I could just be the fool and be innocent and not think about all the bad and nasty stuff that is out there.  There have been over 250 mass shootings this year in this country and every time I read the newspaper it seems like there is another one.  The thought of going anywhere is scary.  I very much want to hide in my house and not leave.  I don't know how to let it go.  I don't know how to go back to being the innocent fool who doesn't know what hides in the shadows.  

The message my guides are giving me right now is to start where you are.  To start feeling safe in my house, then worry about all the rest.  I also need to continue to ask them to protect me and my family.  We have always been protected, but maybe we need to amp up our personal protection.


Where:  I'm home today and I took it easy as I have to travel tomorrow.  I hung out with the dogs, did the laundry, and got packed.

Weather:  It was one of those really nice summer days where it is warm, but not hot.

Moon Phase:  Waxing Crescent 4 %

Sunrise / Sunset: 5:51 am/ 8:57 pm

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March 27, 2022

Deck:  Light Seer's Tarot

First Impressions:  Trust fall, falling into a sea of stars, there is no dog in this card

Book:  New beginnings, enthusiasm, ability to bring your dreams to life, faith, optimism

Guidance:   Surrender to the call of the fool

Journaling:

This is a beautiful card, but there should be a dog.  I love the guidance to surrender to the call of the fool.  As I reflect on what it means to "act the fool," I realize that all too often we make the fool negative as it is about looking stupid or being silly.  However, when we can get past those negative stereotypes, there is a lot to be said for being a fool.  I fool is the one who can go into an art class and just play without worrying about how they look.  A fool can learn something new and not have to pretend that he/she knows it all.  There is joy in walking in and being a beginner and starting from scratch.  

As I reflect on the last few years, I realize that I played the fool in going back to school.  I had no clue what it would be like to go back to school as an adult and there was a part of me that was terrified.  However, my "don't care" attitude meant that I was able to step in and just enjoy the experience.  I didn't have to control it or be perfect, I can just try.  I need to remember this mantra in my life.

Where: I'm sitting on the couch with Clark sitting next to me and Wendy in the orange chair.  It's about 7:30 and I'm getting ready to finish dinner.  It's been a long day today even though I slept until about noon.  My body has just been exhausted lately and I have been craving sleep.  It feels like I feel good for a few days, then feel horrible again.  I also know that I'm still feeling the late night picking Seano up the other day.

Weather:  It was 20 degrees and snowy today

Moon Phase:  Waning Crescent, 25

Sunrise / Sunset: 7:18 am / 7:46 p

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 September 2, 2019


Deck:  Tarot de St. Croix

First Impressions:  Laughter, silliness, entertaining

Book:  When we begin a new endeavor we have no idea of the outcome, be cool with playing the fool

Guidance:  Trust the journey and enter the mystery with a sense of playfulness

Journaling

I used to take everything I did so seriously as if every word out of my mouth was going to define the rest of my life and as if every action I took had grand consequences.  I've since learned that while there are definitely things in my life that matter and should be taken seriously, a lot of what goes on in my life is not that important at all and that if I approach it with a little more humor and a lot less stress, my life will be better.  It also helps a lot that I allow myself to make mistakes and to laugh about it.  Making mistakes is one of the biggest learning experiences there is and when we can allow ourselves to screw up and learn from it, we are more at peace with who we are and we end up learning something along the way.

The other change I've made is that I refuse to let people who are in my life who degrade me for making mistakes.  I spent too many years hearing that everything I did and who I was was a mistake!  No more.  And I refuse to treat my kids that way.  I might give them guidance and suggestions, but ultimately they need to learn from their own mistakes.  The funny thing is that I find that as I get older, I am better able to learn from other's mistakes as I'm able to put their experiences into context in my own life. 

The other important lesson is to trust the journey.  I have absolutely no idea where my degree will take me and where I'll end up, but I do know that I'm being guided and taken care of and that if I open my heart and trust, life will be good.

Gratitudes
I'm grateful that I got to sleep late
I'm grateful that I got homework done
I'm grateful for the interesting readings
I'm grateful for the cool weather
I'm grateful for getting to just chill out

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May 23, 2019

Deck:  The World Tarot

First Impressions:  Taking Flight, Trusting, leap of faith

Book:  Fool lives perfectly in the present, innocent and open to surprises

Guidance: take a leap of faith and trust the universe will provide, recognize risks, and carry on with confidence

Journaling:

The Fool is one of my favorite cards because it is a reminder that we need to let go of our worries and inhibitions, take action, and trust that it will all work out.  One of the thoughts that just struck me is that the fool is often thought of as a simpleton who doesn't have deep thoughts.  Most of us view that as a bad thing, but if we look at it through a different lens we can see that not having deep thoughts means we are acting from intuition and not overthinking things.  Sometimes our gut tells us what the right thing to do is, but we think ourselves out of it.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate brains and logic as much as the next person, but I also know that all too often we ignore our gut instincts and we think ourselves out of something that might be the next right thing for us or we talk ourselves into something that's wrong for us.

I got a wake up call on this today because I'm close to being ready to hire people and build my OCM practice, but I want to give them very narrow lanes.  Someone I consider a mentor reminded me that we need to give people latitude so they have passion.  I pointed out that I have worked so hard that I don't want someone else screwing that up.  I was told that sometimes we have to face failure in order to grow.  That was a fool moment as I was reminded that sometimes even though we're afraid, we have to take that leap of faith.  We have to trust that even if we fail, we won't totally crash and burn.

As I think about taking leaps of faith, I think about the possible outcomes:  I could tumble all the way to the ground and be injured, I could fall almost to the ground and be caught and brought safely to earth, or I could find my wings and soar.  Unfortunately, I will never know which of these scenarios will be reality unless I find my courage to step off that roof and soar.

Exercise

What are you afraid of?  Do it.

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January 4, 2018

I was doing one of Sasha Graham's wonderful Tarot Spells where you enter a card and see things from his/her perspective.  This particular spell had me entering the Fool and as I entered the card, I found my


self feeling hopeful and full of faith and as I took that fateful step off of the cliff, I found solid ground.  Looking straight ahead, I saw a wonderful shimmery bridge that was only visible from the perspective of the person taking the leap of faith.  As I took my first step on that shimmery bridge that I knew was leading to my future,  I heard the fool whisper in my hear "Take the step and the bridge will appear."


Interestingly enough that's the title of a book that I bought several years ago and had forgotten about until I received my message from the fool.  It's moved from the bottom of my bookshelf to my nightstand and as I've started to read though it, I've realized why the book was at the bottom of my bookshelf.  When I bought the book, my impression from thumbing through it was that if you took the first step, the entire path would be laid out before you and you would have an absolute guarantee that things would work out.  I've never found that to be the case in life so I got frustrated when I first picked up the book and put it back down.  

However, I've gained maturity since I first bought that book and had my own experience with taking the next right step and being guided to the next one.  My guides knocked that message into my head heard when I got lost on Bell Tower could not find the path.  I had to ask for directions and the message was find the first cairn and once you've found that one, you'll be able to see the next one.  All I had to do was keep finding the next cairn and I'd find my way out.

I'm realizing that my guides are giving me two messages via the Fool.  The first is that I need to take the next right step in building a spiritual business that can sustain me in retirement.  I don't need to have the entire plan laid out right now, all I need to do is to take the next right step and the path to the next cairn will appear.  

The second is a little harder for me as I need to not only trust my guides that the path will appear, but I also have to trust myself to take the right steps.  For someone who has struggled with self esteem issues and struggled to believe I'm worthy of being led and that my efforts and knowledge are worth sharing, that is a tremendous act of trust and faith.  However, the message they are whispering in my ear is that I am a child of the Goddess and of course I am worthy.

And for those of you who can't visualize what that shimmer bridge looks like, here is Indiana Jones stepping off the cliff and onto a shimmery bridge.  I realized after I'd had my Fool Moment, that I'd seen that shimmery bridge before and it only took a few clicks on YouTube to find it :)


Note:  The image above is the fool from a Prophecy Wine label

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