Saturday, April 9, 2022

April World of the Month: Kindness--Beginning of the month

 To help my personal growth, I've decided that not only will I have a card of the year, I will also choose a word each month to study and reflect on.  I'll be reading books and articles on my word of the month as well as figuring out activities that will help me incorporate that word into my life.  My word of the month for April is:


At the beginning and end of each month, I will also do a reading.  The beginning of the month reading will be about what lessons I can learn from the card and the end of month reading will be about what I did learn.  

Beginning of the Month Reading

Deck:  Sacred Rose Tarot

Kindness is an interesting word for me as I chose the mantra Be Kind for the year and I work to say it when I am in uncomfortable situations or when someone is being mean.  I have to be honest and say that the Evil M taxes my patience because she is the meanest person I have ever met.  She is cutting and cruel and very condescending.  I know my best response is to say nothing and not respond to her bullshit, but she pushes my buttons.  I am working on measures to learn from her and not hate her, but damn the bitch makes it difficult (and that is an example of how riled up she gets me).  I could write pages about how she gets under my skin, but the reality is that I need to let her go.  How to do that is definately the subject of another post.

What does kindness mean for me right now?

The knight of pentacles is all about putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.  This card is about patience, persistency, and maturity and it takes all of those characteristics to be kind.  This card is telling me that kindness is not about some magick sauce that makes you kind.  It is about putting the effort in and showing up.  It is taking a pause and stepping back when you want to bite someone's head off.  

However, this card is still a knight and knight's are are about protection and doing the right thing.  A knight doesn't just walk away and let someone get the best of them.  A knight puts up their shields so the they do not get injured by cruelness.  And a knight does not always help up their enemy.  A knight protects themselves and set boundaries and setting boundaries is not being unkind.

I'm not sure if this is really what I know about kindness, but it sure is information that I need.

What do I need to learn about kindness?

This is an interesting depiction of the three of cups as it is a single person and not a group of friends.  This is an interesting read on this card as it talks about healing for yourself and for those who seek you out.  It is not about healing for everyone, it is for those who seek you out.  I think part of my problem with life is that I think I owe everyone something and that's not true.  I do not have to fix the Evil M.  And as Glenn says it is okay to let her fail.  That is not being unkind and I do not have to rescue her.  She will eventually learn that her method is not working.  I do not have to participate in her stupid meetings and I can just let go of whatever it is that she is trying to do.  Not my circus, not my Monica.

This is also a card of good luck and abundance and it is about knowing one has strong emotional energy.  I know that I am strong and I have survived more than the Evil M will always know.  I do not have to share those learnings with her.  And that is not being unkind.  It is actually unkind to myself to continually deal with her garbage and give her any energy.

What do I need to do to bring Kindness into my life?

Another interesting read as I've always learned that the four of cup is about ritual and building relationships.  While this card does address those aspects of life, it is also about emotion not being enough to build a foundation on. And that is so true, I solid foundation is about the earth and about logic.  This card is telling me that I do not just need to let kindness, or any emotion, rule my life.  I need to also be logical and determine how I will respond when.

This card is telling me that I do not need to be so desperate for friends that I let them walk all over me.  It is not kindness to allow others to use you.  That is actually a symbol of desperation.  I also do not need to let the Evil M. get under my skin.  She really is nothing to me and I just need to let go of caring about her.

What benefits will I have bringing kindness into my life?

I will be able to be in the flow of the give and take of life.  I will be able to receive and give kindnesses and I will no longer worry about those who are incapable of kindness or who only do kindness to make themselves look good.  However, being in the flow and giving and receiving kindness does not mean I have to go out of my way to be kind to people who are evil, like M.  I can just let go and not interact.  I do not have to give my resources to someone like that.  I think one of the lessons I've been learning my whole life is that I do not have to be a doormat and I do not have to let people like the EVIL M walk all over me.  

One of the things I have learned about the Evil M is that she loves to talk about herself and how good she is.  And playing the one up game with a bitch like that isn't wrong.  I need to practice self protection not fighting back.  I need to manipulate her into falling on her own sword and outing herself as an evil person.

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